For the last several months of 2009 and early months of 2010 several events transpired in our lives which leads me to conclude that for most part, “people are addicted to drama”. Drama is an infectious disease.

Everyone that I’ve come across recently, mostly Indian folks have all been showing signs of this highly infectious disease, festering within them. You lend an ear to their plight, and you’re showing the symptoms too.

I’ve tried long and hard to analyze as to why, we tend to become this way. The simple reason is that from the very moment of our birth, we carry the pathogen within us. It stays dormant for a while, and then something triggers it into action. Before you know it, it’s taken a deep hold on your personality. We’re surrounded by it, we breathe it, in and out, and over time we get acclimatized to it, so much so that it becomes second nature to us all.

There’s drama is everything we do or don’t, in our actions and reactions. Drama is involved in every inter-personal action within the family, with friends and our social interactions. There is drama against people who chose not to be affected by it.

The Symptoms

How many times have you come across any of the following statements?

So and so is doing this…I don’t understand why, so and so is upto this…You know what, so and so said this to so and so….So and so, behaved like this with so and so, in front of so and so…the list goes on and on.

It sounds like gossip, which is basically a  manifestation of the disease. Different people exhibit symptoms to  different levels. People with less to do, are the most infected. For some drama means a lot more than anything else in their lives, much more than self-respect. People depend on it for emotional and psychological comfort, its absence creates a sense of detachment and creates a longing for it, and anyone who offers a reprieve suddenly becomes our friend, and when their demand for drama surpasses our own need, we’re e ready to part ways, and go on to look for another symbiotic host, or become a parasite. I was too infected with this suffocating and debilitating disease. Though, I caught a break eleven years ago, when I got an opportunity to move to US for further studies. As with anyone, there were withdrawal symptoms. In time, I met new people, and hoped that it wouldn’t resurface again. I succeeded, by keeping my distance.

Then something happened, I got married. Suddenly, the drama-infected group became twice as large. I hoped that it would stay away. Unfortunately, with time I found the same symptoms in different folks yet again, the drama lived on.

I’ve worked very hard to rid myself of this infection and for the past seven of the ten years I’ve been successful in keeping it at bay. However, in the past year, people having been trying hard to suck me back deeper into it. I detest it to my core, and I’m willing to do, or to say, what needs to be said, no matter how harsh it may sound or hurt someone, my resolve is not to give in.

Many would argue, as to why I would choose to be this way, a non-conformist. First, I don’t need to give explanation for my actions to anyone. No one is that important or relevant anyway, with the exception of my parents, my wife, and my immediate family. Everyone else is merely an acquaintance with varying degree of access to my life.

Why You Ask?

Because I don’t give a damn, about who’s doing what, and why? or why I’m not involved in it?. I don’t care what people think of me. I don’t believe in pretences and above all I don’t need to be dragged into something that I’ve worked so hard to get out of.

Above all, the drama sucks up all the energy and time we can spend on doing something positive with our lives, or affecting lives of other folks, positively.

The Remedy!

We’ve cut ties with people, who were so severely infected with this disease, that any time spent with them was draining us of our peace. We decided, we’re not going to get into a measuring contest, with anyone. Since, we decided not to participate, no one can make us. Yet, if they continue, it’s only affecting them.

It’s been a few months since, and our lives have never been so much peaceful and productive. We’re happy to be in company of our own thoughts, goals and aspirations. With no time to spend on frivolous social engagements, we’re doing what we want to do best, spend time with each other, and make best use of our time in enriching our personal and professional lives. Our actions may have lead for more drama in someone else’s life, but at the least, it’s not our problem.

I strongly urge you, to spend some time thinking about all the folks and their baggage (read Drama), and it’s impact on your life. If you decide, that it’s dominating your life, cut it off. You’ll be more at peace with yourself and folks around you.

Remember this;

1. This is the only life we’ve got. Screw this one up, there is no undo.
2. We can’t make everyone happy, and we shouldn’t try. You’ll end up being unhappy with your own life.
3. Reason for most ‘screw-up’ in relations is “Expectation”. From someone or for someone…sooner or later, everyone disappoints. A real meaningful relationship, whether it’s between spouses, friends or relatives can only happen in the absence of expectations, otherwise it is destined to fail.
4. Never underestimate the power of stupid people. Stupid decisions are often made in the company of stupid people. Avoid them like a plague!
5. Never take sides, especially if the two sides are equally represented by morons. Sooner or later, the morons will unite, and you will be a pariah.
6. Surround yourself with people from whom you can learn something. If you’re the one teaching them all the time, you’re degrading yourself, move on.
7. There is only 24 hours in a day. The difference between a winner and a loser is only in the utilization of their respective 24 hours. Spend yours wisely, and you’ll be successful as well.